Have I been playing the role of Judas ?

by

Forgive me Father ! Forgive me my brothers and sisters ! FATHER , You know my foolishness and my sins are NOT hidden from You. Let not those that wait for You , Yehoshua , be ashamed because of me. Let not those that seek You be comfounded because of me O Holy ONE of  Isreal . Because for Your sake I have borne reproach. Shame has covered my face. I have become a stranger to my brothers,and an alien to my mother’s children : Because zeal for Your house has eaten me up . And the reproaches of those who reproach You have fallen on me . When I wept and chastised my soul with fasting . That became my reproach. I also made sackcloth my garment ; I became a byword to them. Those who sit in the gate speak against me, and I have become THE  SONG  OF  THE  DRUNKARDS.

I spoke to them but they would not listen . I sang for them but they would not dance . I wept but they would not mourne . I spoke plainly but they would not hear . I showed them You working wonders and miracles but they would not look .

So I started shouting at them. Making fun of their churches and beliefs. Challenging their faith without works . Making fun of their leaders . And that became my sin . I was not patient and did not wait for You . I thought to give my brothers and sisters a head start ! By trying to force the mighty to take action against me , when it was not an acceptable time for You O holy Joshua our Creator . As a child I demanded satisfaction now ! I did not consider how long till my beard became grey.

But as for me ,  my prayer is to You. Father in the acceptable time ; Oh Yehoshua, in the multitude of Your mercy, hear me in the truth of Your salvation ! Deliver me out of the mire. And let me not sink. Let me be delivered from those that hate me. And out of the deep waters. Let not the floodwater overflow me. Nor let the deep swallow me up. And let not the pit shut its mouth on me.

Hear me Oh Mighty Messiah , for Your lovingtenderkindness is good. Turn to me according to the  multitude of Your tender mercies. And do not hide Your face from Your friend. For I am in trouble. Hear me speedingly. Draw near to my soul, and redeem it; deliver me because of my enemies.

You know my reproach, my shame, and my dishonor; my adversaries are all before You. Reproach has broken my heart, and I am full of heaviness; I looked for someone to take pity, but there was none.

But I am poor and  sorrowful; Let Your salvation O Holy One of Isreal, set me up on high. I will praise You with a song ,and will magnify Him with thanksgiving. This also shall please our Father better than an ox or bull. The humble shall see this and be glad. ; And you who seek Joshua , your hearts shall live. For the Almighty hears the poor, and does not despise His prisoners. Let heaven and earth praise Him; the seas and everything that moves in them ! For Yehoshua , will save His sons and daughters, and they will dwell in His house forever !

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